I heard the song today and realized that’s where Obama got his campaign slogan. Here - read ‘em for yourself:

come on come on
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is life worth living should I blast myself?
I’m tired of bein’ poor & even worse I’m black
my stomach hurts so I’m lookin’ for a purse to snatch
Cops give a damn about a negro
pull the trigger kill a nigga he’s a hero
Give the crack to the kids who the hell cares
one less hungry mouth on the welfare
First ship ‘em dope & let ‘em deal the brothers
give ‘em guns step back watch ‘em kill each other
It’s time to fight back that’s what Huey said
2 shots in the dark now Huey’s dead
I got love for my brother but we can never go nowhere
unless we share with each other
We gotta start makin’ changes
learn to see me as a brother instead of 2 distant strangers
and that’s how it’s supposed to be
How can the Devil take a brother if he’s close to me?
I’d love to go back to when we played as kids
but things changed, and that’s the way it is

[Bridge w/ changing ad libs]
Come on come on
That’s just the way it is
Things’ll never be the same
That’s just the way it is
aww yeah
[Repeat]

[2]
I see no changes all I see is racist faces
misplaced hate makes disgrace to races
We under I wonder what it takes to make this
one better place, let’s erase the wasted
Take the evil out the people they’ll be acting right
’cause both black and white is smokin’ crack tonight
and only time we chill is when we kill each other
it takes skill to be real, time to heal each other
And although it seems heaven sent
We ain’t ready, to see a black President, uhh
It ain’t a secret don’t conceal the fact
the penitentiary’s packed, and it’s filled with blacks
But some things will never change
try to show another way but you stayin’ in the dope game
Now tell me what’s a mother to do
bein’ real don’t appeal to the brother in you
You gotta operate the easy way
“I made a G today” But you made it in a sleazy way
sellin’ crack to the kid. ” I gotta get paid,”
Well hey, well that’s the way it is

[Bridge]

[Talking:]
We gotta make a change…
It’s time for us as a people to start makin’ some changes.
Let’s change the way we eat, let’s change the way we live
and let’s change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive.

[3]
And still I see no changes can’t a brother get a little peace
It’s war on the streets & the war in the Middle East
Instead of war on poverty they got a war on drugs
so the police can bother me
And I ain’t never did a crime I ain’t have to do
But now I’m back with the facts givin’ it back to you
Don’t let ‘em jack you up, back you up,
crack you up and pimp smack you up
You gotta learn to hold ya own
they get jealous when they see ya with ya mobile phone
But tell the cops they can’t touch this
I don’t trust this when they try to rush I bust this
That’s the sound of my tool you say it ain’t cool
my mama didn’t raise no fool
And as long as I stay black I gotta stay strapped
& I never get to lay back
‘Cause I always got to worry ’bout the pay backs
some punk that I roughed up way back
comin’ back after all these years
rat-tat-tat-tat-tat that’s the way it is uhh

[Bridge 'til fade:]
Some things will never change

If you think Obama doesn’t listen to 2Pac you’re an idiot. He’s behind closed doors bobbin’ his head.

McCain-Palin ‘08!!

First of all - your a fat ass - get over it.  Second, don’t hit kids in the head.  I guess you’re such a lard ass that you didn’t know your own strength.  You can’t even leave your house.  Ever heard of gluttony?  Go read about it.  I’ll wait.

So they haven’t even arrested her fat ass yet because she weighs almost 1000 lbs.  Good lord she’s a SMART CAR.  I bet you could bolt on a steering wheel and drive her big ass down the road.

They say they don’t have room for her in the Hidalgo County jail - she can’t fit through the doors and she needs “extensive medical care”

The only care she needs is an endless supply of cheeseburgers and french fries.  Tap a keg of Dr. Pepper and inject that through an IV.

The mother of the child is being charged with injury to a child because she “allegedly” left her son alone wit aunty half ton.

OK mom - you should know better than to leave your kid alone with a Big Foot.  Goonie Goo Goo bitch.

I say her punishment should be like the fat guy in “Seven”.  Sit there and force food down her throat until her stomach ruptures.  Good riddance Fatty McFat Fat

Close but no cigar.  She handed me a big flat priority envelope.  I said “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR - They mailed them to me?”  Retards sent my plates to the house.  I guess they figured they put me through enough shit they not only gave me the plates (since I didn’t pay for them when I ordered them) and they paid to have them priority shipped to me.

In my best Forest Gump voice I said “Mama says”

Hello Earth - have we met?

Go ahead - I’ll still be here when you get back

What an ass beating that was.  When I told the dumb ass lady what I needed to do she broke out a fat 3 ring binder and flipped to the page marked “I don’t know what the hell I am doing”

That should have been a clue as to how the rest of the conversation was going to go.  I was flabbergasted by the fact that she needed directions to do this for me.  She works in the “tag” office.  She should know what to do.  I know she’s not new because I see her fat ass every time I go in there and I can’t be the only Ass A Hole who comes in needing to get my personalized plates replaced.

As she proceeds to read the directions she reaches under the desk and grabs a set of plain old license plates and says “OK, I have to give you a set of regular plates while we are waiting for your replacement personalized plates to come in”  I just told her “hold up there Seabisuit.  I don’t want them and if you give them to me I am not putting them on my vehicle.”  She said she had to blah blah blah.  I told her she was going to waste a perfectly good set of plates if she gave them to me.  I’ve been running no front plate for 4 months I don’t think another 3 weeks is going to make a hill of beans.

She got on the phone - called somebody and asked them something and they told her she didn’t have to give them to me.  I’m thinking - “alright - first hurdle complete, hit me again and this time put some stank on it!!”

So she taps on her keyboard for a few minutes then says “That will be $31.20″…………….. I said “$31.20 for what?”  She replied “for your replacement plates”.

I got a little irritated.  I was reading her binder upside down when she was plus I had made 2 calls prior to going in there so I know it’s supposed to be $6.30 for the plates.  She said “well that’s what the computer says” so I tell her that it’s wrong and she better get back up in there and figure out where her fat ass fingers hit the wrong button.  I told her she can keep them and I’ll roll no front plate if that is the case.  I also explained that I had to do this last year and it was $1.00 cheaper.  She made another call (YAWN) and hung up then said she was just going to print my receipt and I could pay when I pick them up.  I asked her if it was going to reflect the correct price when I picked up.  Guess what?  She did not know.

I’m so tired of ignorant people.  The Colony, TX - That’s the level of intelligence on that planet because they are definitely not on earth.  Get out of my state!  And get off my road - it’s mine and you can’t have it!

bitches

We’ll see what happens when they come in.

I have a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice.  I know the justice system inside and out from an education standpoint but not from a hands on experience standpoint.  At first, when I decided to take the Criminal Justice path, I thought I wanted to work for the government.  The more I learned about the justice system and the government, the less I wanted to have anything to do with them, other than paying my taxes.  I don’t want to do that either but I gotta - at least that’s what the man says.

I told you that story to tell you this story.  No I wasn’t in a bar in New York City (those of you who are Ron White fans should pick up on that one).

I have to ask myself…. “self…how much is your life worth?”  “how much money would make putting your life on the line every day worth it?”  Most people out there would say there is no amount.  If you ask a cop I can guarantee you he will tell you he is worth more than what he makes.  In fact - you ask any employed American if they are getting paid what they are worth and I am sure 99% of them will tell you “no”.

So I’m sitting watching one of my shows, don’t remember which, doesn’t matter.  There were cops and idiots.  Sometimes the cops were the idiots.  In one particular case the cop was trying to talk to this dude who didn’t want to talk to him.  It was in a seedy area of town otherwise known as “The Ghetto”

The dude said he didn’t have to talk to the cop and the cop should leave him alone, at which point 3 of his esteemed colleagues came over and clarified to the police officer (who was flying solo in this act) that he (the dude) in fact did not have to talk to him and that the cop should get out of there before they whoop his ass.  He keeps attempting to talk to the dude and the dude keeps getting more belligerent as well as his cohorts.  One thing leads to another and they in fact commence to whooping this cops ass right in front of people all up and down the sidewalk.  So I ask my wife this… “At what point is it ok to pull out your gun and just start plugging hot lead in their asses?”

If you are dumb enough to fight with or punch a cop and/or attack a cop with a group of your friends, I think you should expect that you may get tazed, pepper sprayed or in fact shot.

At the end of the show I came to this conclusion:

Being a cop takes a lot of patience and self control.  I have neither.

The reason I mention him is because I have one of his cookbooks.  Let me rewind a little.  Last Saturday, June 28th, was my birthday.  For my birthday I got a brand new Charmglow 5 Burner Stainless Steel super duper fly bad ass gas grill.  My Wife, new baby Hannah and Father-in-Law Larry all chipped in to buy it for me.  I’ve used it 2 times not including today.  I cooked some steaks one night and a few burgers the next night.

A few days ago I was looking through my “Boy Meets Grill” cookbook by Bobby Flay.  I wanted to cook out for the 4th so I was looking for a good recipe for Ribs.  There just happens to be a good recipe in this book for Indian Spiced Pork Ribs so I photocopied the recipe and asked my wife to pick up the ingredients.

The recipe calls for 4 slabs of Ribs plus a bunch of herbs and spices for the sauce.  She got most of it but today we had to get a few other ingredients.  We got up this morning and got going about lunch time.  We went to Home Depot, the grocery store, the Mexican meat market and picked up Propane for the grill just in case we ran out.

By the time we got home it was after 2 pm.  I started on the sauce about 3 pm.  It takes about an hour and is a lot of work for someone who does not cook the stuff every day.  In the midst of making the sauce (while it was simmering) I brushed the ribs with olive oil, salt and pepper (which is what the recipe calls for) and pre-heated the grill.  I put them on and set a timer for 2 hours knowing that I would be checking on them throughout the 2 hour time period.  I had the grill set on the lowest setting.  I checked them once and re-arranged them a little bit.

I then went back to my sauce and cleaning up some of my mess.  About 15 minutes later my wife looks out the back door to check the temperature on the grill and yells for me “honey something is wrong, you better come here the temperature says 800 degrees.”

I ran to the back door and sure as shit the thermometer is pegged out.  I thought to myself there must be something wrong with it so I lifted the lid up.  There was nothing wrong with the thermometer.  All 4 slabs of my ribs were engulfed in flames.  The inside of the lid of my brand new grill was covered with soot from the flames and the outside is discolored from the heat.  I was in a panic, not knowing what to do.  I turned off all the burners and cut the gas off.  I ran inside to get something (still not sure at this point) to put the fire out.  I came back out side, ribs still flaming, and looked at the grill.  Then it clicked “get the water hose dumb ass.”

I got the hose and put it on mist.  The fire was out in a few seconds but the damage was done.  Has anyone ever seen CSI?  My ribs were charred like that of a body pulled from a flaming building.  They were literally flaking apart.

So here I am with $40 worth of charred useless pork ribs, a gas grill that is a week old that looks like I bought it at a fire sale and homemade BBQ sauce that took me at least an hour to prepare.  I was fumed.  I had invited my Mom and Grandmother over to eat with us and now the whole plan is shot to shit.

I called my mom and told her I just f’d up the ribs and the cook out was pretty much over.  Being the Mom she is, she came anyway and stopped to pick up ribs (already cooked) on her way.  So we ate, played with the baby and visited.  Note to self - either don’t cook ribs or pay attention to the grill the entire time they are on.

That’s all fine and dandy but they are making it difficult to abide by the law.  I called TXDOT today because I need replacement plates for my vehicle.  I have personalized plates and I know there is a fee to have them replaced.  The car wash damn near tore off my front license plate so I want a shiny new one with no defects.  Is that so much to ask.  Apparently so.

They told me that I have to pay for the plates since they don’t qualify for free replacement.  Fine.  I already know that and have already had to do this once before.  Last time I did it I made a phone call, they ordered the plates, I went to pick them up and paid the measly $5.35 fee to get them.  Now they tell me I have to drive all the way over to the tag office (at $4.00+ a gallon fuel and 15 mpg) to pay the fee, THEN AND ONLY THEN will they order my replacement plates which means (Yep, you guessed it) I have to drive back out there again (at probably $5.00 a gallon fuel by the time they get here) and pick them up.  Re - Tard - Ed.

So - guess what I told her.  “I’ll just have to run without a front plate and when I get pulled over by the Highway patrol for not having one I will tell him that the tag office refused to order my replacement plates”

What do ya think about that?

Keep your trash can handy (that’s for the people out there who don’t have kids and have yet to really experience the disgusting foulness that can come out of your child’s butt).

I remember my Mom or Nanny asking me before our baby was born “are you going to change dirty diapers?”  I said “of course….what kind of Dad do you think I am going to be?”

So when our little bundle of joy arrived I dove in head first.  They don’t stink when the baby is brand new (and everyone will tell you this if you don’t have kids yet).  This is true.  They did not stink.  They were pretty funky looking but no funky smell.

That lasts a couple of weeks.  I can’t really remember how long it was before they started to smell like……….well…….Shit…….. but the day came oh too soon.  Oh how I long for the days of dirty diapers that do not smell but they are gone forever.  Sometimes there is just a little squirt in there which is an easy 1 wipe and diaper swap but sometimes I get in there and say “What in the name of all that is Holy is wrong with my child?”

Those of you with kids know what I am talking about.  I mean there’s shit that looks like jiffy peanut butter (the crunchy kind), caramel, tar, mudslide and sometimes I just say “Honey - get the camera, no one’s every gonna believe this shit came out of a child!!”

Sometimes it is so liquified that it oozes up the back of her diaper and explodes out the back like a shit volcano.  I mean what the hell causes that.  It’s like Mount Shitius back there.  There have been times that we were just like “man the hell with this, I’m giving her a bath” because a few wipes just wont do the trick.  I’m not conservative when it comes to baby ass wipes but there is only so much shit I want to get on my hands while attempting to clean up what looks like a mud hole that a horse drawn carriage has driven through.

And all this while she is kicking and flailing stomping her little feet into the shit filled, mud slide, Mount Shitius shit flowing diaper pocket.

Parents you have been there.  Don’t deny it.  What goes in must come out no matter how nasty it looks or smells.  If you are not a parent you are probably saying “no way would I ever want to change a dirty diaper” but you wait until they get here and that will all change.  Stay tuned for more excitement.  As my wife has said “this is the beginning of a new chapter in our lives”

This is how the equation works

1) Client has problem with computer
2) Client calls me with a problem and attempts to get “free” help over the phone
3) I explain (and not in these exact words) that I am not free tech support
4) Client proceeds to tell me how long it is going to take to fix the problem and how “simple” the problem is yet they cannot figure out how to solve it

I’m no genius but if I have a problem that I don’t know how to solve I am going to call someone who “specializes” in that field to solve said problem for me.  Who am I to tell them how long it is going to take to solve the problem?

Where do people get off telling me how long it’s going to take to solve the problem that they are not smart enough to solve.  If you’re such a wizard fix it yourself Einstein.

The bottom line is money.  Some people do not want to pay for services.  I mean are you going to ask the lawn guy to mow your freakin’ yard over the phone?  Ask your hair stylist to cut your hair over the phone?  Hell no.  You have two choices:

1) Stop breaking your stuff
2) Pay for services as needed and don’t try to circumvent the system by calling and saying “I don’t know but you may be able to ‘walk me through this over the phone’

Why are we educating these people? Go home if you want an “Islamic” education. You want to live in America you get an American education. I don’t expect to go to Saudi Arabia and learn about the American culture. It’s common fuckin’ sense. You want to kill people for your beliefs do it in your back yard.

This is a quote from one of their textbooks “The Jews conspired against Islam and it’s people”. By the same token I guess you could say Al Qaeda conspire against the United States and it’s people every day. They hate us. Why are they here? To kill us…..that’s their purpose in life.

Where do we draw the line?